Questions!

So today I was sitting in a brief. Having had no real good sleep in over two weeks. I look down and see my uniform. I glance around the room and see everyone else in their uniforms. I think to myself, "How did I get here?" and "What am I doing?". My thoughts continue, "This is not me!" After wearing these clothes and doing all that wearing them entails for over six years, you would think I would have answers to those questions, or for that matter not need to ask them at all. But really I am just on the inner tube of life, floating down the river. I don't get off because it would be a long walk back to the car. I don't even contemplate getting off. I just let the river take me. Yet, every once in awhile I actually take the time to realize where I am and what I am doing and then I am shocked a little to be this person I don't always know and never expected to be.