Sleep

Sleep has always been my coping mechanism, except the year my Mother died, then sleep let me down big time. I think I learned at an early age that there were only two activities in life that I could participate in that my mom would not disturb me from in order to run around the house finding her things. You see, we had a huge house, and for some reason all the items my mom used on a daily basis seemed to be spread out. It would never fail that as soon as I got back from retrieving whatever item she was in want of, settled back into whatever activity I had been called away from. I would here the dreaded Abbie, or if I was too slow.... Abigail. Except when I managed to disappear into the dream world. The other place of sanctuary happened to be sitting on the toilet. Since a person can really only stay sitting on the toilet or on the floor near the toilet for so long, I often opted for dream world. Plus, thanks to my Father, I inherited amazing dreams. Usually not scary and most definitely entertaining. Soon, I taught myself that sleep was not just a good way to get out of work but a good way to avoid the stresses in life. So when life would get stressful, I would fall asleep. It wasn't unheard of for me to come home, fall asleep and 72 hours later, wake up in a slightly confused and more than hungry state, as well as with an urgency to run for the bathroom. All this to say, it was no surprise when I came home from work today and immediately hit the couch to sink into a dream filled state. To say it was a horrible day would be an understatement. I think I have a realistic perspective when it comes to being a new nurse. I know that learning all the ins and outs of the trade is not easy, but if I have too many days like this one, I am not sure I will even make it on the typical five year RN burn out roster, let alone a retirement plan. So here's to hoping that as I move from the uncomfortable coach to the very comfy bed, I will wake up on Monday, having forgotten how bad today was and ready to go back and try it all again.

Thank goodness for sleep!